By: Rachel Goldman, PhD
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Self-compassion is a crucial element in surviving (and eventually thriving in) parenthood. Loosely defined, it is the act of giving yourself patience, kindness, empathy, love, and understanding as you move through the intensity and complexities of your “new normal.” 

Translating self-compassion into reality, however, often is fraught and filled with missteps: “should have” thoughts, “wish I were like…” self-comparisons, second-guessing, and self-judgment. Why is it so difficult for parents to give themselves grace?

​Perhaps it’s because parenthood puts your before life in a washing machine – swooshing everything around, soaking your prior self, and spinning things on high until you don’t know which way is up. You are jolted back into reality, except, now, everything has changed. For many, your before ways of coping kick into gear – pushing through challenges, casting aside feelings that don’t feel useful, relying on logic rather than intuition, and setting unrealistic expectations. You charge into the unknowns of parenthood with a steadfast internal image of how you want to be. The epitome, in your head, of what it means to be a good parent.

By Jennifer Newman, PhD

Have you felt judged, been criticized, offered suggestions, or given unsolicited advice that you don’t need, at a time you are barely making it through the day? ... Know that you are not alone. 
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Don’t fall prey to the hype. Don’t read the blogs, the social media posts, the interviews, the books that make you believe you are doing it all wrong. Don’t shame scroll on social media to feel bad that you haven’t baked, crafted, or walked together today holding hands.  Don’t buy into the fantasy picture of parenting during a pandemic ... It’s not real.