 By, Rachel Goldman, PhD
One of the roughest growth edges in the adjustment to parenthood often can be one of the least anticipated. You buy the things, you read the baby books, you take the classes, you set up the nursery, you make your birth plan. And you feel as ready as you are going to be. But on the other side of those first few months, and beyond, is a complex, multifaceted feeling that many parents may struggle to acknowledge, “I miss the old me.” It’s impossible to truly prepare for the shift in identity that comes along with parenthood. There is grief in the loss of “‘what was, and what will never be again,” the missing of yourself, your body, your relationships, and your freedom. Part of what feels so confusing about these feelings is the dissonance around “I’m not supposed to feel this way.” There are many underlying assumptions in our society that parents are so full of joy, so grateful, and so fulfilled for what they have that they shouldn’t ever miss the before moments, or tempt themselves with the scary questions of “why did I do this to myself?”
By Eva Schulz
J&L Intern I recently attended the Pride parade in New York City. At first the city felt quite as usual: crowds of people, the smell of pollution and $5 hot dogs, and a constant state of hurry. Every so often I’d see someone dressed up in rainbows and colorful makeup, but it wasn’t until I reached Washington Square Park that I felt a complete shift. If given one glance, the park looked as it ordinarily does – congested but with more colors and fewer clothes. However, at the center of that congestion, there was so much more to experience. Sitting on a towel in the park created a sense of calm in a sea of what seemed like chaos: hundreds of people walking around, vendors screaming out prices of their homemade goods, and the hot sun beating down on me, but it wasn’t bothersome. Being around mostly queer people fostered a feeling of security in me that I had never felt anywhere else. This aspect of Pride was freedom. I am not a member of the LGBTQ+ community, which creates a unique experience. I realize that being a white cisgender woman allows me to function comfortably following society’s norms.  By: Rachel Goldman, PhD
Self-compassion is a crucial element in surviving (and eventually thriving in) parenthood. Loosely defined, it is the act of giving yourself patience, kindness, empathy, love, and understanding as you move through the intensity and complexities of your “new normal.” Translating self-compassion into reality, however, often is fraught and filled with missteps: “should have” thoughts, “wish I were like…” self-comparisons, second-guessing, and self-judgment. Why is it so difficult for parents to give themselves grace? Perhaps it’s because parenthood puts your before life in a washing machine – swooshing everything around, soaking your prior self, and spinning things on high until you don’t know which way is up. You are jolted back into reality, except, now, everything has changed. For many, your before ways of coping kick into gear – pushing through challenges, casting aside feelings that don’t feel useful, relying on logic rather than intuition, and setting unrealistic expectations. You charge into the unknowns of parenthood with a steadfast internal image of how you want to be. The epitome, in your head, of what it means to be a good parent.  By Ilana Schulder, PsyD
This 60-minute webinar is designed to support those who care for children and are deeply involved in their everyday lives. It will help you identify warning signs in children's mental health, learn ways to address crises as they unfold, and approach difficult topics important to young people with greater confidence. This webinar will cover:
 By Lili Romann, J&L contributor
We are getting to the point where phone “addictions” are normalized: Dependence on our smartphones is rampant across generations. While there is controversy regarding how severe or detrimental phone use habits are to our physical and psychological well being, there is no escaping the reality that our phones are integral to our everyday lives – and they are not going away any time soon. Given that inevitability, it is critical that we identify mindful and healthy ways to manage our relationships with our devices. If you read our blog post on toxic positivity, or are one of the many doomscrollers and news junkies among us, you are likely aware of how using the phone to cope or numb our senses can cause us to lose track of time, relationships, and the world around us. Additionally, the near constant exposure to disturbing, and at times even traumatic, content can contribute to feeling overwhelmed and weighed down. At J&L Psychology Group, we often approach our treatment services with a concentration on trauma to help individuals develop healthier coping strategies. Limited-Time Availability of Short-Term or Intensive EMDR Sessions to Augment Existing Therapy7/17/2023
 Jennifer Newman, PhD Dr. Jennifer Newman has limited availability this summer to serve clients who would benefit from short-term or intensive EMDR sessions. EMDR may offer an important add-on component to your therapeutic journey. It is a form of processing that can quickly uncover and connect many different experiences that link to trauma, anxiety, and stress that is being held in your body or mind. Sessions with Dr. Newman should be considered an augmentation to existing therapy, designed to unlock aspects of trauma that may have remained hidden during your current course of treatment. She will closely collaborate with your primary therapist so you can benefit from processing what you’ve learned through EMDR in regular therapy sessions. WHEN: Dr. Newman has limited-time availability during August 2023. HOW: Short-term (typically 2-3 45-minute sessions), or 3-4 hour intensive sessions. WHO: Patients who are currently in trauma treatment with a trusted therapist who can benefit from limited, add-on EMDR treatment Call (646) 609-6323 or email info@jandlpsychology now to discuss if EMDR could help, and schedule a session before Dr. Newman's schedule fills again. WHAT IS EMDR?: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an approach to therapy that involves recalling distressing thoughts, images, feelings and/or body sensations while simultaneously focusing on an external stimulus. Often the external stimuli are a series of side-to-side eye movements or hand-tapping. This approach assists with processing memories by allowing patients to focus both on the associations related to these recollections and the bilateral stimulation, commonly in the form of repeated eye movements. EMDR therapy does not require talking about distressing details to process traumatic events. EMDR has evidence for use in treatment of trauma, depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions and can be used in adults and children. Watch the video below to hear Dr. Newman talk about the process.  WHEN: Thursday July 6th, 6:00pm-7:00pm
WHERE: Webinar via Zoom* (link will be to provided to participants upon enrollment) COST: $45 (sliding scale options available) WHO: Parents, caregivers, educators, and others working with children This 60-minute webinar is designed to support those who care for children and are deeply involved in their everyday lives. It will help you identify warning signs in children's mental health, learn ways to address crises as they unfold, and approach difficult topics important to young people with greater confidence. This webinar will cover:
Plus tips for preparing for summer transitions! REGISTER HERE *please note, the webinar will be recorded and use of identifying information is optional.  Mondays, 6:30pm - 7:45pm*
Virtual via Zoom Join us for a 12-week group therapy program designed to connect you with other trauma survivors, teach you skills to manage difficult emotions, and introduce new strategies to improve the health of your relationships. The Group will be co-led by Dr. Emily Brackman and Dr. Ilana Schulder. To learn more and complete a complimentary group consultation call, please reach out to us at [email protected] *Time subject to change depending on participant availability and start date.  Join us for a 90-minute webinar to learn more about the science behind trauma and how trauma impacts survivors.
Event Details Thursday January 26th, 2023 6:30-8pm EDT Remote via Zoom This webinar has been developed for the general public, including trauma survivors and their family members/loved ones, as well as professionals who are interested in understanding the basic concepts of living with and healing from PTSD and complex trauma. The presentation will provide an overview of core concepts related totrauma, including:
Participants will have a chance to engage in self-reflective and experiential exercises throughout the presentation.  Out with minimizing, in with acknowledging
By Lili Romann We’ve all had a lot to deal with recently. Between the pandemic, a war-torn world, a democracy at odds with itself, a nearing recession and more, there are lots of reasons to feel scared and stressed. Aside from these large-scale issues, you may be working a hybrid schedule and having to find a balance between your work hours and picking up your kids. Or maybe your course load at school is kicking your butt and you are worried because your family is facing hardships. The list seems to be endless. The key to navigating a stressful, or often tumultuous sequence of events – this applies to everybody – is how you choose to confront your stress (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2021). Let’s introduce the topic of “toxic positivity,” an approach to emotion management that involves dismissing negative emotions and overgeneralizing positive ones. Toxic positivity is a belief that, no matter what, you should keep a positive mindset (Goodman, 2022). People following this concept appear positive when they are struggling. |
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