Finding Love and Peace through Pride

The author wearing makeup done for her at Pride.

Photos by Eva Schulz. A crowd gathers at Washington Square Park in Manhattan to celebrate Pride on June 30.

By Eva Schulz
J&L Intern 

I recently attended the Pride parade in New York City. At first the city felt quite as usual: crowds of people, the smell of pollution and $5 hot dogs, and a constant state of hurry. Every so often I’d see someone dressed up in rainbows and colorful makeup, but it wasn’t until I reached Washington Square Park that I felt a complete shift. If given one glance, the park looked as it ordinarily does – congested but with more colors and fewer clothes. However, at the center of that congestion, there was so much more to experience. 

Sitting on a towel in the park created a sense of calm in a sea of what seemed like chaos: hundreds of people walking around, vendors screaming out prices of their homemade goods, and the hot sun beating down on me, but it wasn’t bothersome. Being around mostly queer people fostered a feeling of security in me that I had never felt anywhere else. This aspect of Pride was freedom. I am not a member of the LGBTQ+ community, which creates a unique experience. I realize that being a white cisgender woman allows me to function comfortably following society’s norms.

Pride is one place where LGBTQ+ individuals can defy society’s expectations. I was welcomed as an outlier, without hesitation. I have been taught, like many women, to put up a guard to protect me from harm. From my observation, Pride has been the only place I have seen where women can wear whatever they want, do whatever they want, and not have to be on high alert or on constant surveillance of their surroundings. I grew up learning that straight men can be dangerous. Living as a woman, especially in a college setting, has proved that can be true sometimes. Although I know not all straight men are dangerous, I learned that vulnerability is risky and to be “better safe than sorry.” The guard that I built protects me. At Pride, my guard was shattered. It was freeing. From my understanding, queer people have learned they must build a similar wall to protect themselves from harm. I wonder if they experienced the breaking of that wall in the way I did that day. ​

​My favorite part of Pride was the people surrounding me. Anyone I approached was friendly and welcomed conversation.

Joined by friends with rainbows for a day in the park.

 The most memorable interaction I had was with one girl I saw doing her friend’s makeup. She used watercolors to paint her friends’ faces and I was immediately intrigued. I went over and asked if she would do my makeup, too, and she started right away. She was so respectful and kind, it made me think about the inclusivity of LGBTQ+ culture. It did not matter who I was or who I surrounded myself with. I was welcomed with open arms. I felt like I was being adopted by people whose names I didn't even know. Although doing someone's makeup may seem unextraordinary, it was the kind of situation that led me to feel included and connected with others. I felt a part of a greater community that encouraged love and acceptance expressed through sparkle and color. ​​

At Pride, the fear of awkwardness, embarrassment, and overall danger of being among strangers did not exist for me. It is one place where people’s diverse backgrounds are celebrated in a big crowd. Pride creates a space and opportunity for people to come together, to relate to one another, to deepen these roots and find community, no matter how they identify or whom they love. Pride works as an oasis for understanding and acceptedness that the LGBTQ+ community does not get to experience all of the time. It is a bubble from the outside world that reminds us that we are all human and are filled with love with which to give and support each other. That is the meaning of Pride for me.Connection within the LGBTQ+ community and with people outside of the community can make a huge impact in people’s lives. Research shows that connectedness and social support can positively influence mental health for LGBTQ+ individuals by diminishing feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety (Firk, Großheinrich, Scherbaum & Deimel, 2023). As stated by Cruz (2023), “Even if you don‘t think you‘re doing all that much, your friendship with a queer person might mean the world to them” (para. 15). We all need companionship in order to nurture our mental health. 

Even though I do not walk in the footsteps of people in the LGBTQ+ community, showing up and showing love is one of the most important things I can do. That goes for all my fellow allies! Expressing that we are here for each other can go a long way, and that is exactly what Pride does.

References:
Firk, C., Großheinrich, N., Scherbaum, N., & Deimel, D. (2023). The impact of social connectedness on mental health in LGBTQ + identifying individuals during the COVID-19 pandemic in Germany. BMC psychology, 11(1), 252. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-023-01265-5
Jose, A. C. (2023/10/05/, 2023 Oct 05). The LGBTQ+ community needs allies now more than ever. University Wire Retrieved from https://ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/login?url=https://www-proquest-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/wire-feeds/lgbtq-community-needs-allies-now-more-than-ever/docview/2910911448/se-2
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About the author: Eva Schulz is a rising junior at Penn State University majoring in psychology and criminology. She is interning at J&L Psychology Group for the summer to prepare eventually for applications to graduate school in psychology.